There were years I asked why it was and had to be? Why was there no one before me that I could look up to? And the time I simply wanted to fly and just remain there. Those were growing up wishes, as the first fruit of my family.
This birth position came with much responsibilities- as you are the child of experiment for young and inexperienced parents. I think we need to recall childhood experiences and positional experience too.
FAIR WEATHER EXPERIENCES
Well, being the first issue is as fun and hard as it can be. I categorically state days I have loved being the first of all.When it comes to anything sharing among my siblings and I, you know what that means? I am the boss. I take it first and big (though I had issues with making choices). This made my sister cry because I had picked her choice.
As the first child of my then young parents, I was given what my parents perceived was the best, What they believed was the best of anything they could offer. And I always appreciated it.
I was like the last child from my maternal home. Maybe because I was born there or because I was the first grand child? Whichever it was, in those early years, Dozie was a celebrity.Many uncles, aunties, and family friends showed interest and cared for me, maybe because they simply wanted to cement the relationship with my family or to get small benefits from my dad.
Definitely, I would say I had a spoon in my mouth in those rosy years. I practically couldn’t be identified with lack or understood it that much.
It was very exciting to see my mum come to complain or seek advice from me while I became reasonable enough to understand some things. Why would mumsy come to me for counsel? Is it worth celebrating? She was not really good at it unlike dad who virtually told me everything and asked for my suggestions(which he has always been proud of) from early years both when I was ready and when I wasn’t(guess that was one of the roles as first son ,I thought). But, it was all fun I would say.
Now, the reality of words and opposite would always come around one way or another. I needed some privileges I saw then(infancy and childhood),more when I grew up to know what a privilege was. But sorry, it didn’t happen that way.
There was a great thwart in the latter years. When you talk about economic situation. And that was a big blow to me. I wished then as the first son that I could do something to correct that. I thought seriously about my younger siblings, ‘if I could support them’. Those periods were characterized by delays, giving up some dreams and believing in God’s will.
But ask me how those periods went by,I would say that there is a purpose to everything on earth. Another interesting role I was always called to play- the mediator role. When some issues came up in the family, everyone would be like, “you are the first son do something”, and that was a hell of responsibility for me. Guess what I did? ‘applied Wisdom’. It is a principal thing.
I was did well to avoid issues that would dent me or my family outside. But I could not always avoid my immediate younger sister, she knew the right buttons to press to change my mood. At some point, I thought we would fight forever, but now, we reason issues together(never dreamt it would happen). Did you know my predicament? I was blamed and received more punishment for not being patient enough with her. And that was tearing.
Down memory lane to tender age, I could remember one of my uncles that promised to buy me an oil paint as milk then. We were in a building material store when I saw this beautiful tin, I was eager to know what was in and he told me it was milk. That settled the whole issue, because the tin looked attractive and I am getting to know that its content too is cool for me(crazy lover of milk up until now). I am still expecting that promise to be fulfilled even till today. There was this time I felt very disappointed with my dad was when I asked him to get me a video game, ‘Sega’. It was priced and he promised to get it for me when the money comes. I had expectations until I knew it wasn’t coming. At that point, I lost trust in him and bore the grudge for so long until I got matured to let it go.
I never believed in many people then, even as at five years old. Besides regular classes I never liked extra mural classes, I believed in learning it alone and by myself. Even when I wasn’t too good. Maybe that was why the private ones arranged by mum never lasted. They always crashed. I thank God. I could remember one of such classes when I was at the age of 4 or 5 close to my home. I slept around 2 p.m, woke some minutes to 4 O’clock, as if God heard my prayer it started raining. I pretended like I was asleep until 6 p.m when I gently asked my mum, if I could go to lesson, which came in a low tone. When her answer was NO, the calmness left and I jumped off from the bed and headed to watch television and became active as well.
I would leave it here for now. But growing up is and was a memory. There are lots of things that make it up.
But I’m grateful for who I am and what I have got and the experiences that didn’t break me but has made me.
I want to specially appreciate FLORA CHINENYE, for making some of us feel the nostalgia of growing up once again.
Hope you enjoyed reading Dozie’s story? Anticipate more inspiring stories.
Thank you for reading, always keep in mind
I LOVE YOU.